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A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He’d been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: when asked whether I’d consider dating someone with herpes, I’d responded no. It wasn’t some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes. For him, however, it was a potential deal breaker: As you’ve probably figured out by now, my suitor was a member of that vast group of sexually active adults who’ve been infected with herpes. The internet was supposed to be transformative for people with incurable, but highly preventable, STIs like herpes simplex virus HSV who wanted to date while being open about their status. There’s no question that these sites which have even spawned their own Tinder-like apps are a fantastic demonstration of how innovative online dating platforms can be. But even as they bring together a number of people living with STIs, they don’t seem to do much to improve general education about living with herpes and other STIs. And as a result, people going online in search of connection and support often end up feeling stigmatized, isolated, and more alone than ever. And in the beginning, that seemed to be the case. Hoping to improve her prospects, or at least connect with people in a similar position, Ellie turned to the internet.

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Seven months after Ella Dawson says she was diagnosed with genital herpes, she remembers a young man at a college party offering her a sip of his beer. No offence: Ella Dawson says she feels empowered talking bluntly about her genital herpes. Credit: Ella Dawson.

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No matter what part of Australia you live in, finding the right match out there in the wide world presents a challenge. You long for romance, a bit of fun, and true love, but something stands in your way of discovering the best connection with the woman or man of your dreams. After you have been diagnosed with an STD, dating takes on a whole new facet of difficulty that may be incredibly hard for some people to get over.

Every person you become interested in becomes a source of anxiety as you just wait for them to reject you like so many others. Today, you have more options than ever before to find someone who you can connect with on a personal level without worrying about the revelation of your positive diagnosis. We have the answer. Although this country is very large, you will undoubtedly be able to find someone to connect with who shares your interests and other important factors that go into relationship success.

For example, in New South Wales, 12, people are looking for romance. In Queensland, 11, search for a new connection. More than members come from Victoria, too. The moment you got positive test results back for your HIV, HPV, or herpes status, you may have felt more alone in the world than you ever had before. For a while, you might have considered that any chance at romance or love had vanished. We are here to tell you that you do not have to give up on finding that special someone just because of your STD diagnosis.

The population of people all around the world and here in Australia who have been diagnosed with one of these life-altering diseases is growing all the time.

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